A few funnies to go with the sunshine...

Well, here we are eh? The sun is streaming through the window, everything (even the office car park) is looking fantastic in the gleam, although the glare through the window is still pissing everyone off...

Anyway, enough of that bollocks, let's laugh at someone less fortunate than us, shall we?

First up, I've got to post this, not because the site, the writing, or anything is bad, it's just ludicrous (as anyone of a certain age who remembers proper festivals will agree, I'm sure)...



Isn't that lovely? In fact, to correct myself, isn't everything that is wrong with the modern music festival, encapsulated in one story? Waitrose? Delia Smith? Are you fuckin sure?

Anyway, enough of that folly, on to something serious. Well, kind of.

http://www.holdthefrontpage.co.uk/news/100601response.shtml

Genius from the Newspaper Society, which is apprently fighting for us and our jobs. Gawd 'elp us all.

A fuckwit at the Beeb may steal a local rag's story (try addressing the fuckin' agencies NS, who genuinely rob cash from reporter's pockets)? Who would Adam and Eve it eh?

Still, fear not, I hear our old friends at http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/ (bless 'em) have hatched a plan to catch out these pesky story-stealing twats, and it's cunning...


I'm not sure if you can make that out very well, but the salient points are this; the story is about a Gloucester chap, named as "Ibrahim Musaji", who was caught up in the Gaza/Israel/Palestine incident this week.

"All well and good Hapless, those reporters are doing their job," I hear you cry!

But hold the phone peeps. As we cut to the following morning...


The follow up...

"Hey Hapless, you're out of order now, they've even followed the story up and you're still pissing and moaning?" again, I hear your cries...

But look a bit closer (as I said, you may not be able to see, so up yours), or I will just explain...

The first story, as mentioned above, concerns the plight of "Ibrahim Musaji".

The second? Well, that's something else entirely, despite the picture, as that is about "Ebrahim Musaji".

You see?

"Hang on now Hapless, that's it, I'm going to kick your sorry ass for being so out of order when someone simply makes a mistake," I hear you spit from your vile little mouths (not really, I'm sure you're lovely).

I'm with you, everyone can make a mistake, although I found these two on the same day, so why they wouldn't have changed the incorrect one (whichever that is!) is beyond me.

"So, Hapless, what is the fucking point of any of this?" your final cry rings out...

Well, clearly, one of these names is wrong, and I am going to presume it's the first story (as why would you repeat the error?) because a simple search reveals:


Yes, a BBC story, posted a couple of hours later than that at http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/, featuring the spelling "Ibrahim"...

So, from what do we deduce from this dear Watson?

Could it be that the reporter at http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/ is a fuckwit who spelt the name wrong in the first story?

Possibly.

Is it that the BBC then "lifted" said story, therefore making exactly the same mistake?

Again, possibly.

Or could it be that http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/ spelt a chap's name correctly in their first story, then incorrectly in the second?

I leave it for you, my dear readers, to decide for yourselves (theories, answers on a postcard (or email, to the usual address please)...

If you don't know the usual address, it's thehaplesshack@gmail.com, I thank you.

Please, for God's sake...

Now even I'm getting fed up of it.

Yes, it's www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk AGAIN.

I have been made aware of a massive problem that clearly someone at Northcliffe, or at whatever regional centre runs Gloucestershire's site, has overlooked...

Many people, particularly with a relaunch only weeks ago, would want to contact the site to let them know what they think.

So, a contact form is vital you would imagine, and there duly is one on hand (see below).

So, you fill in your comment, yet when you click the 'Send' button, disaster!

You are presented with a page from the beta version of the OLD thisisgloucestershire.co.uk (again, see below)!


And yes, you can navigate around the OLD thisisgloucestershire.co.uk beta site to your heart's content.

Let's hope there is no embarrassing content uploaded on there as a test...

For fuck's sake people, how shit do these sites have to be before someone does something?

Blog off during the election...

What is the current fascination with blogs on news websites?

I understand the elections - both national and local - can be difficult to cover; finding new lines, anything interesting from the dull manifesto, recycling old stories for lists of nominees etc, but is there really a need for every reporter/editor/cleaner/tea lady at a newspaper to 'blog' on the matter?

Even worse, they insist on calling them blogs, present them in the most basic manner and simply recycle what they read on a Sky News blog that morning, or worse, one of the BBC's awful, awful election space-fillers.

I'm racking my brain to think of where this proliferation of political expertise has come from and the only conclusion I can come up with is that, for local and regional rags in particular, this is the first time they have had this wonderful tool called 't'interweb' to use during a general election.

And so, while scouring the land for ways to make themselves feel like they are covering the main event (when in fact we all know that regionals should'nt be interested in "Call Me Dave" and "Hardy Gordon"), they have stumbled across blogs by the likes of Adam B at Sky and Nick R at the Beeb and decided to copy it.

Yet another clutch at the ever-fruitful straws provided by the internet by an industry reaching further and further into the abyss of cutbacks and slowly but surely disappearing up its own arse in a bid to claim it is "innovating" to any foolhardy MD who will listen.

Anyway, I'm going to post another few cracking mistakes that perhaps the next political reporter wannabe can have a look at sorting before attempting to wax lyrical to me about his theory on the Tories' strategy... Check 'em out shortly.

Multimedia? It doesn't mean you're a reporter...

The advent of the modern-day newsroom, or hub as it is more-often now known, has spawned a whole new generation of wannabe reporters who, quite frankly, aren't and never will be.

Gone are the days where every newsroom would have one person in the corner - probably an editor's secretary or a newsroom manager (editorial assistants who are over 40) - who thought they were the ONLY real reporter in the room despite having absolutely no training and never having written a word for print.

No, now we have a whole host of people who have come to regard themselves as reporters, simply because they work in the same room as many.

Perhaps the most notable progression in this regard is the multimedia coordinator, or web developer.

These people have never, will never and could never write a coherent piece. End of story.

Yet because they have been sitting in a newsroom for a week, possibly less depending on the annoyance factor of the individual concerned, they are full of pearls of wisdom and anecdotes regarding the intricacies of reporting and newspapers in general.

Only today, a web developer who fits all of the above criteria, began regaling me with tales of how frustrating it can be when you are doing a vox pop and the unsuspecting member of the public speaks to you for half-an-hour on the latest hot topic, before refusing to be named or photographed.

Now, the tale is true and in invaluable one when briefing that week's hapless workie, or a trainee on their first vox pop experience, but when asked whether she had ever conducted a vox pop, guess what the response was?

You guessed it, 'no'.

What was even more puzzling was the confused look on her face, as if experience of actually having done it would have given her frustration any more validity.

I have nothing against these people, I'm sure they play a valuable role, doing the job they are there to do. Lord knows, it's not like we would employ far too many techies simply because they can tell us we need eight people to do the job and those in charge wouldn't know whether that was true or not, is it?

But please, non-reporters around the news globe, please don't absorb the tales of those around you and attempt to share in their wisdom.

Because, God knows, until you've stood in the rain trying to secure that final talking head for 25 minutes, an irate tog at your arm moaning about how they've never taken this long over a vox pop before, you really can NEVER share our pain.

So don't even try.