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I can't stand it when people use the phrase "literally" when they, surprise surprise, say something literal. But there you go, that's just me. Anyway, on to something else.

Jordan. Katie Price. Katie 'Jordan' Price. The glamour model formerly known as Jordan. Whatever her fucking name is now, she has reappeared in our newspapers having been away for ooh, at least ten minutes.

And what a way to make a comeback.

Just weeks after stories appeared (from "sources") letting us all know that her fella was short of cash, we have the glitzy wedding-style ceremony in leafy Surrey for "close friends and family", as well as the obligatory 3,000,000 photographers.

These photographers were, of course, unwelcome and were the subject of what looked like some strong security measures to protect the blushes (and weighty exclusive TV contract) of the 'bride'.

Still, why the fuck were there photographers there anyway?

I know it's a classic old-man rant, but honestly, do we really give a shit that a two-bit glamour model is married to a cage-fighting thick bloke who was once on a Channel 4 programme called Celebrity Tossers in Fame Bid or somesuch nonsense? Do we?

I suppose we must do because why else would newspapers be so desperate to get the story?

I really do despair.

Still, at least she didn't come out with a quote using the dreaded "literally", oh, hang on...

"We're not going to have a wedding planner, we're literally going to do it ourselves."

I give up.